L2Read

I have said before that I have little memory of my former life as a human, centuries ago. I was ignorant compared to the people of my own time, but I must have been good enough, loyal enough, religious enough, to have earned access to the Kingdom. I believed the priests, for why would they lie? To this day I do not believe they lied: they believed sincerely in what they preached. Back in my earthly body I was illiterate, and so the content of holy books was passed to me indirectly, through priests and friends and family, but it was enough; I memorized verses, prayed, believed, trusted. 

I have learnt to read, and write. An angelic mind processes information faster than a human's. I watched my charge learn to read and write as a human child, and inspired by him I resolved to become, after all my time, literate at last. It did not take long. Michael was safe enough as he grew up: parts of Earth are now extremely safe for human life, compared to previously in history. I had ample time to stare at the human symbols, ink marks made on pulped and flattened wood, to process them, to learn what meanings they hold.

There is no literary culture in Heaven, so far as I am aware. Perhaps the higher-ups, the Powers, Dominions, Cherubs, and Seraphim, have vast libraries of heavenly tomes that the lower orders are kept from. I do not know. There is no need for literature among the singing and praising and relaxing masses of Heaven: there is no need for escapism in Paradise, no need for knowledge when all your needs are met. Indeed, I have no doubt that researching, reading, learning, accruing knowledge would be positively discouraged in Heaven if anyone asked about it.

Solicit not thy thoughts with matters hid;

Leave them to God above; him serve, and fear.

Of other creatures, as him pleases best,

Wherever placed, let him dispose; joy thou

In what he gives to thee, this Paradise

And thy fair Eve; Heaven is for thee too high

To know what passes there; be lowly wise:

Think only what concerns thee, and thy being;

Dream not of other worlds, what creatures there

Live, in what state, condition, or degree;

Contented that thus far hath been revealed

Not of Earth only, but of highest Heaven.

Once the secret of reading is learned, everything written in English was unlocked for me: all the literary culture, the news, the history, the science, the philosophy, everything written in the English language. 

I have done a lot of reading. 

Reading changes you. Every book, every article, every internet comment, adds to you, alters you in some small or substantial way.

I have changed.

Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever...

Heaven's Echoes

Humans enjoy spending time with other humans with similar opinions. If a social group becomes too exclusive, strongly in favour of certain views and ostracizing whose who disagree, it can become an echo chamber of agreement. Humans with "far-left" political views meet up and tell each other how correct they are; those of the "far-right" persuasion so similar. Such groups, if sufficiently isolated from the wider human population, if their members social lives do not extend far beyond the group itself, can become totally convinced that they alone have The Truth.

As each racist says "they should send them all back" and his fellows agree, repeating the view with slightly different wording; as each communist says "the proletariat must rise up" and her fellows agree, repeating with slightly different wording; as the groups non-conformists are ostracized or ridiculed for disagreeing (or maybe only suggesting that foreigners contribute to the country, or pointing out that communism has not worked out well anywhere it's been tried) the view becomes stronger, more solid, and in the minds of the group members moves further from opinion, view, subjective interpretation, towards fact, certainty, The Truth. One would expect these 'idealogy echo chambers' to be less common in the Information Age, and perhaps they are, but it easy for people looking online to seek out information that supports rather than challenges their existing opinions.

Yesterday I discussed the 'Overton Window': the range of publicly acceptable ideas, and how this can be changed and manipulated over time. If the 'public' becomes a small group with similar strongly-held opinions, then the window shrinks. Alternatively, if a country's freedom of speech is seriously restricted, and dissenters who do not follow the party line are done away with, then the range of acceptable opinions can be suffienctly narrowed to create an echo chamber where everyone agrees with each other, singing their shared opinions together, believing they have The Truth.

God is good. God is just. God is great. God is loving. Etc.

Yahweh's Window

The 'Overton Window' is an earthly term used to describe the range of opinions and ideas that are publicly acceptable in a particular society. Ideas and opinions outside this window are considered dangerous or radical,while those inside are acceptable or popular. The window shifts through time as societies change. The abolition of slavery and voting rights for women were once considered dangerous and radical ideas, for example. 

Those who control media can manipulate the window through coordinated propaganda narratives. In the United Kingdom, for example, the current Conservative government is underfunding the National Health Service - the country's publicly funded health system - in order to privatize it. The NHS is very popular with the British public; privatizing it is not. Luckily for them, the government's objective is supported by a large number of Media Moguls, who own newspapers and TV stations which can (a) pretend that the government have not cut NHS funding, (b) repeatedly infer that the NHS is inherently bad, and (c) blame immigrants, not governments, for NHS failings. Perhaps they will manage to shift the window enough to make the privatization agenda acceptable? 

Another example from the United Kingdom (this being the country where Michael lives). Earthly governments collect taxes from their people, which make up the government budget. This is spent maintaining roads, training an army, providing healthcare, stockpiling nuclear weapons, building grand palaces, etc. Taxes are normally 'progressive': proportional to an individuals circumstances: a person with a small income will pay a small amount of income tax, while a person with a larger income will pay a larger amount of income tax. Flat-rate taxes are 'regressive' in that they put a greater burden on the poor: if a poor person with £100 a richer person with £1000 each pay £10 tax, the poor person has 10% of their money, while the rich have lost only 1%.

Every so often a politician tries to float the idea of increasing tax on the richer people in the country. This idea seems to have been pushed out of the Overton Window: the political commentators explain that taxes the rich more would make them leave the country, taking all of their money with them; that the rich spend more money and so fund businesses and jobs, making more people better off, etc.

I keep digressing. I know more about Earth now than ever before. I've been reading books and magazines and websites. I have been learning. Earth is fascinating. It is strange to think that when I was in my old earthly human body that I knew nothing about the world. Even by the standards of my time I knew little, and that was centuries ago. Nowadays humans can access a huge World Wide Web of knowledge.

And memes.

And porn.

There is something like an Overton Window in Heaven. I'll call it Yahweh's Window. I've mentioned before that Yahweh is not keen on free speech: blasphemy is something that, by some accounts, he is either unable or unwilling to forgive. Yahweh's Window is an extremely narrow range of opinions that are acceptable in Heaven. God is great. God is good. God is just. Etc, etc. Anything outside of this window: dangerous and radical. 

Hunger

I am still getting accustomed to the very undivine concept of 'Freedom of Speech': the idea that I should be able to say whatever I like, ask questions, poke fun. This idea does not exist in Heaven, where there are very strict laws about what you can say, do, or think. Criticism or mockery of the Dear Leader is expressly forbidden; indeed, some of the Lord's earthly admirers believe that blasphemy is only thing His Highness cannot forgive. These rules on thought and speech, as far as I know, are mainly the criteria for entering Heaven in the first place: once you're in, chances are you won't have any negative thoughts about Yahweh, because you'll be rejoicing in wonder of your new God-given Body; at the absence of pain, hunger, and thirst; at the sheer splendor of the Kingdom of Heaven.

My above sentence is incorrect. There is a little bit of hunger in Heaven. Only a little. Just enough to make you want something to eat, but not enough to make you uncomfortable. The pleasure of food comes from an appetite satiated. Similar with thirst. The angels of Heaven eat and drink together, satisfying their meager cravings. And they sing praises to the God who provides their food and drink and abode. There is just enough hunger and thirst in Heaven to generate a satiable craving.

He Who Must Not Be Named

It is entirely possible I am being too harsh on the lady - it is a long time since I was human, and I have only flickering memories of those days. Once you become an angel, you quickly get used to it: our heavenly bodies are never truly hungry or tired; it is easy to live happily ever after in heaven, completely oblivious to what's occurring on Earth: most newcomers choose the option of living in the humongous Pleasure Palace of the Lord. This heavenly exists grants you a peaceful happy life; the angels of Heaven do not suffer from lust, envy, or the other 'Seven Deadly Sins', or even sadness. It takes real effort to feel those things when your Heavenly Body is suppressing them, and making you feel happy at all times as you sing constant praises to the Lord.

I have not yet got out of the habit of saying 'The Lord'; his name is Yahweh. All of my existence - as far as I know - I have referred to him as God or The Lord, but more recently I have discovered his real name: Yahweh: thousands of years ago he forbid his name from being spoken, claiming it to be too holy. He Who Must Not Be Named. The Lord. God.

Yahweh. Say it. He Who Must Not Be Named.

A Human Tragedy

I have asked other angels in Heaven if their intervention requests were ever approved, and all had the same experience as me. Of course, I have only asked an extremely small proportion of the angels. We are Watchers not Guardians, it seems. I must admit that the aftermath of my non-interventions never went too badly; my charge survived, he made mistakes but learned from them, troubled times built up his character, etc.

It did get me thinking about God's Plan: is he saving up all the interventions for the End? When his world is destroyed and a new world takes its place? Are we all just keeping track of our charges, and then when the day comes the Guardians of the Chosen will be told to 'PROTECT YOUR HUMAN FROM THE EVIL ONES'? I don't know.

I wish I could have spoken to the Guardian of Michael's Mother. In the aftermath of her husband's - Michael's father's - death, she turned to alcohol for consolation. She is still an alcoholic twenty years later, still a social recluse. Her house is a museum to her former life: family photos adorn most walls, and the house has not been redecorated since she became a widow. I would like to know whether her angel - I assume she has one - ever put in an request to help her off the alcohol, somehow. I know Michael finds it difficult to ring or visit her nowadays: it gets harder every year. Being a social recluse, she seems to have forgotten how to have actual conversations: she talks at people, and then interrupts them when they try to speak. Many years ago, her friends would regularly invite her out, but she would always decline. Eventually they stopped inviting, so she has no social life nowadays.

When she was going through the anger stage of grief she would start shouting at him for no reason, and nothing he could say would stop her drunken yelling. The feeling of powerlessness against yelling stuck with Michael for years: if ever anyone started shouting he would freeze up and want to run away.

Before he moved out, Michael would often try to convince his mum to stop drinking. Sometimes she would lie, say that she wasn't drinking, and hide the bottles in the garage. Sometimes Michael would pour the wine away, and then she would shout at him and make false comparisons: his pouring away her wine would be like someone throwing away his toys (he was about 7 years old at this time). In his mid-teens he snapped and shouted at her a few times, called her pathetic. She was silent and walked away, as if aware that he spoke truth, but she did not reform.

I wish I could at least know whether her Guardian tried to intervene, to help her reform.

What makes this so tragic is the duration. When her husband died, they had been together for 17 years. It is now nearly 20 years since she became a widow, and she is still a grieving alcoholic social recluse. Obviously, we wouldn't expect someone to get over something like that entirely - a surprise bereavement will have a permanent impact on someone's character - but we can expect some progress. She has now been grieving for longer than she was married, longer than she was with her husband.

Why couldn't her Guardian have intervened to help her? I put in requests on Michael's behalf - her alcoholism was having very obvious negatives effects on him - but they were all declined. Why could no one help?

The Blog Begins

I have been a Guardian Angel for a a few centuries: my memory of anything more than a century ago has faded substantially, and so I cannot remember exactly how long I have served the Lord of Heaven in this capacity, and I can barely remember anything about the humans I used to, well, guard. What is certain, though, is that the current state of Earth, in the Information Age, is vastly different to anything I have experienced before. It has given me a new perspective on Earth and Heaven. I have started this blog to work out my thoughts on such matters, and to store them for the future, lest my memory fade.

I was assigned to my charge at his christening. The water was poured on the baby's head, the sins of his ancestors were washed away, and the baby became a member of the Church of God, Ukrainian Catholic Edition. The baby's parents were cultural Catholics, not true believers: they attended church irregularly, and prayer only featured at family gatherings when the grandparents visited. The family appeared happy. The child had two older siblings.

Guardian Angels do not communicate with each other very often. While we watch our charges we do not make ourselves known to them or to each other, and so I do not know who guarded the rest of the family - I assume they did have guardians, having been Christened. We may have met in Heaven sometime, but there are millions of angels in the Lord's service, and so the chances of meeting them specifically are extremely low. We would also be unlikely to start discussing our earthly business with each other.

There is a strict policy dictating when a guardian can intervene to help their charge. A formal request has to be submitted to the Powers that be, who approve or disapprove as they see fit. This process only takes moments, and we can submit our requests to the Powers directly from wherever we are.

For example, a few years ago someone tried to mug my charge. He was walking down a street, at night, texting on his mobile phone. The would-be-mugger was walking towards him from the opposite direction, and, when less than two meters away greeted my charge with 'Give me your fucking phone'.

My Michael glanced up from his phone, saw the knife, and started running without giving an answer. The would-be-mugger gave chase. Seeing this, I quickly sent a request to the Powers, asking to trip up the mugger or some similar simple intervention, to ensure Michael's safety. The response arrived a moment later: 'Unfortunately in this instance your intervention request has been unsuccessful. DO NOT INTERVENE IN THE HUMAN'S AFFAIRS'. So I didn't. A moment later, Michael turned round to the mugger and yelled 'OK, you can have it, but it's a shit phone: look at it!'

I was there when Michael bought that phone for £10, new. The mugger-to-be slowed down, glanced at it, and sped up again to run past him, yelling 'Well fuck off then'. My assistance was not needed. My assistance has never been needed. All I have done is watch. Not a single one of my intervention requests has been approved; if my experience is shared by other Guardians, we could say that God seems to be taking a non-interventionist stance these days.